- "Angry Grandpa has decided to show us his true feelings on a beloved kids show...Max and Ruby-and P.S. (HE HATES IT!)"
- — Description
Angry Grandpa Hates Max and Ruby is a rant video where Angry Grandpa tells Pickleboy his feelings toward the Nickelodeon show Max and Ruby. The original video was uploaded on February 22, 2011 by TheAngryGrandpaShow and has reached over 425,000 views as of November 2016.
Angry Grandpa starts ranting towards Pickleboy about Max and Ruby, a Nickelodeon show for kids. He complains on how Ruby, the older sister, takes care of her little brother Max on a 24/7 basis. It is mentioned that Max should get his "ass whooped" to teach him respect. He also complains about the grandma who only shows up 'about once a week'. Angry Grandpa then tells Pickleboy that he doesn't want his grandkids to watch that show anymore.
-Angry Grandpa is highly incoherent in this video, and some of the words he says are borderline-impossible to understand.
--WARNING: COARSE LANGUAGE--
Angry Grandpa: "Because that little old goddamn Max and Ruby! There's something wrong with that picture man! A goddamn young girl like that taking care of her brother 24/7! She's bathing him, she's...come on now. And the motherf*cker don't know anything in the syllabus but RUBY!"
Pickleboy: "Are you talking about the little...?"
Angry Grandpa: "I'm talking about that goddamn little hare! That f*cking rabbit that on the motherf*cking show! That little mean motherf*cker needs his ass kicked! Motherf*cker got no respect for nobody! He's got no respect for nothing! He thinks everything's gotta be his motherf*cking way, and everyone says 'Oh Max. Oh Max.' Max needs his ass cut! And where's mom and daddy in all this sh*t? Them motherf*ckers out playing Bingo or something? They ain't never the f*ck home! All they do is leave that little girl to watch that goddamn badass boy! Grandma shows up about once a week! 'Hey Max, you alright Max?' 'Candy! Candy!' Motherf*cker act like a goddamn mongoloid! Everywhere she goes, he goes. He wants something...'There, it's okay Max. You take the last f*cking nickel in my pocket, Max!' Oh no, there go the goddamn fare man! And she wants to go see them f*cking petunias, some flowers. And Max he go all like 'Balloon! Balloon!' 'Max, we gotta go look at the...' 'Balloon!' 'Okay Max, I'll get you a balloon.' Give that little motherf*cker a balloon and he pops it! And he goes around like 'balloon!' She grabs Max to look at them flowers. 'Balloon!' F*ck you, you little son of a bi*tch! Beat his motherf*cking ass! Chair him behind one of them tents, and teach him how to goddamn treat people. He got no respect! Max a little motherf*cker...he's a white-hairy little bastard that's gonna grow up and ruin the goddamn world! Teaching our kids all kind of bad sh*t! I can think of snow angels, it's snowing like a motherf*cker! A goddamn blizzard! And Ruby says 'Max let's go play today inside, we gonna play inside today Max!' 'Outside!' So every time she leaves he's sneaking outside. Man bust his motherf*cking ass! Snow angel my f*cking ass! Piss on that motherf*cker! But he gonna...he gonna get out there and he gonna play. F*ck him, it ain't time to go out and play! And there you got Grandma walking up the motherf*cking steps, her little raggedy looking ass! [phone rings] F*ck Max and Ruby! I don't want my boys watching it no f*cking more! No more Max and Ruby!"
Pickleboy: "Hello. Hey! Dad's just sitting here talking about Max and Ruby."
Angry Grandpa: "Man, f*ck Max and Ruby! I'm telling you they f*cking each other!"
Pickleboy: "It's that show [Pickleboy starts singing] 'Max and Ruby! Ruby and Max! Max and Ruby!' That sh*t!"
Angry Grandpa: "He's a white little motherf*cker who needs his ass kicked! And she needs her ass kicked cuz she let him get away with everything! Little b*tch! You every seen Max and Ruby? That little white-haired motherf*cker little piece of sh*t? I think he's f*cking his sister. I really do, ma'am, I think he's f*cking his sister cuz...hey come on man ain't nobody gonna teach him boot kind of sh*t he gives. 'Ruby!' That's right, there ain't no parents, that's the problem! There ain't no goddamn parents! Motherf*cking CSS [Child Safety Services] need to be called in and take them kids away because they ain't got no parents. And that little girl raising that boy with an old, retarded, crazy-ass grandpa that comes in about once a week that says 'Hey Max! Hey Ruby! I here to see you all, you all okay? Here's, here's a gumball cake, ha, ha, ha.' And then she carries her crippled ass the f*ck home! F*ck her! The rabbit her ass, you like Welsh rabbit, you ever eat Welsh rabbit? Fried rabbit? Stewed rabbit? I'd eat the f*ck out of Ruby. I won't eat Max! That motherf*cker spoiled-ass rotten! There only giving that son of a b*tch his way about everything! There kids my ass, motherf*cker! He's a goddamn daddy-wh*re, that's what's wrong now mother*ucker, he gonna be in prison! He got no man in his life! Boy what the f*ck you doing over there?"